I wanna say something from my heart here. Is about our beloved Jimmy... (ok i'm crying now...) Rev, I can't help smiling everytime i see you (chasing giant ducks) and a part of me has gone with you. You, and Mikko and Dave are my favorite drummers EVER and you were an awesome dude. You will never be forgotten. Ever. You were an awesome person and once again i got a proof that there is no God and if there is he is one cold SOB. I miss you... Everyday. I hope you are in heaven, (if there is one) is hard to know our bubbly dude is going to be still underground forever. This is bullshit dude. Tell me is a fucking nightmare. I miss you. You were awesome, and you are a fucking icon. You will always be reminded as one of the most awesome drummers ever. R.I.P.... The Rev.
I lived at a house in Vantaa, in Finland. I always got home and went straight to the window to stare at him. He always looked so precious. In that night, his wife was cooking. He seemed so happy. In the morning i was rushing to school when his little boy came to me. He looks just like him. I held his hand and touched his face. "Just like your father" i said. He smiled and nodded and kissed my cheek, blushed and left. Althought i was his age, i loved his father. I became friends with him just to go to his house. When i got there his dad smiled at me and hugged me. I never felt so amazing before. "He loves me too" i tought. His wife got to me and gave me a cookie. I stared at the cookie for a moment and i looked at him and sat down. I pretended i was going to eat. I wasn't. Until he came and grabbed the cookie. He said "If you aren't going to eat it i will". I got up and tought "he touched the cookie" and said "i will, i will!" he stared a little and handed the cookie to me and laughed. His wife came and gave him a cookie. A breeze froze in, and he rushed to the window, as the wind went opposite to his hair, moving it around. It was the most beautiful thing i have ever seen. It was cold and he wasn't wearing a jacket. I was, and i looked at mine and took it off, handing it over. He looked at me and said "Thank you but i don't think it will fit" and laughed. His smile lightened up the room and it got wormer. To me. His wife laughed and looked at me seriously. I froze. She was so beautiful. Her hair was amazing, her eyes were hypnotizing me as i walked towards his son's room. His dad got a big instrument and a bow, and started playing a heavenly song and as i ran down the stairs his son looked at me disappointed and rushed up to his bedroom. I sat in the floor as he moved his head backwards and forwards and played. I asked him "What is that thing you are playing?" and he smiled and said "This is a cello. Want to give it a try?" i smiled and said "yes. I would love to" I got the bow as i played, really bad... and he smiled. I said "I can play the piano! Can i play the piano instead?" He said "Won't you try a bit harder? I'll help you". I smiled and froze. He got the bow in my hand and started moving it. The sound was gourgeous, although a little weird, from my shaking. He looked at me while playing and said "Are you okay?". As i said "I am..." his son called him he put his hand gently in my shoulder and rushed up the stairs. Such a caring father. His son rushed down the stairs and pushed me out of the chair as he got my hand and sat me on the piano. He said "play please". His father sat at the chair and looked at me. He didn't looked. He stared. I felt like the world's most important person. i started playing a song from my favorite composer as he looked at me and said "That is good. You play well" I tought to myself "If i faded now... oh how wonderful" And he sat by me and said "Jam with me" My heart started beating really fast as i put my hands on the keys and he reached out for the bow. When he stretched i could see the end of his back and i smiled and stretched my hand to touch him but then i remembered that this was real so i moved back and just pressed a random note as he looked back and lost balance. His wife ran to pick him up from falling but i just pushed his shirt and it felt amazing. His wife ran to pick him up from falling but i just pushed his shirt and it felt amazing. I tought to myself "Will he finnaly love me?" His wife got to me and smiled. Her lipstick was blurred and i instantly tought of the reason why and i started to cry. I couldn't help... His wife looked at me and got closer to me. As her hand came close i leaned to him and he said "Please stop. What's wrong?" I looked at him sadly and said "I'm wrong" and i got up and left running. After running a lot, i got down and fell on a pile of snow. I was with a shirt, i had forgotten my jacket in his house as i offered to him. I froze a moment and saw his son running in my direction extremely tired. I looked at him and said "did you ran all that way after me?" And he said "I did, indeed young lady" and i said "i am older than you." He said "Doesn't look like. Look at you, all clumsy in the snow. You forgot your jacket." He picked me up from the floor and said "Here is your jacket." I looked at him and he leaned forward. All i could see was his dad. His dad leaning forward to kiss me. We kissed. In that cold snow day. He held me and he saw me. I saw nothing but his father. It hurted more than anything. As i kissed him i opened my eyes, my brown simple eyes and my eyelashed touched his and he suddenly laughed, in my mouth. I laughed too. That was the funniest and most amazing kiss i had ever got. His dad came to us and looked at him with lipstick on his mouth and looked at me and laughed. I looked at both and realised what had happened and started to cry. "I love you" I said. To the floor. "I love you too." He replied. I smiled and raised my head looking at his dad and i realised that it wasn't him that said that. I was confused, very confused. I hugged his father and said "I am sorry". The boy looked at me sadly and his dad smiled and said "I am okay with this, i promise you" I smiled and kissed his cheek. That was amazing. I felt so amazing... The boy looked at his dad and hugged him. All i saw was a tear falling from his face. His dad looked at him and released a strange noise and i felt so guilty... I just wanted to die. His son walked along the road i ran alone. His dad went after him slowly as i laid on the pile of snow i was laid before. I was miserable... It started to snow again... it was cold... As i got up i heard his mother laugh. I sneeked behind a bush to see what happened. She was kissing him. She was... I lost part of myself there... I cried silently as i walked away from their house. My mother called me to come back home, but i didn't went. I went to the place i met the boy for the first time. We went there with our friends... I really didn't knew if he was upset with me... I was so confused. People do strange things.... As i asked the man some coffee a girl approached me. She said "You get away from him, i have been waiting for him for two years now, you will not tear us apart!" i looked at her sadly and she sat and held my hand. I started to cry... "Please stop. What's wrong?" she said. I had a flashback of his dad saying that and i got up and left. Alone. Crying. The usual. I got home four hours later, four long hours of walking. Four long hours of pain. My mother was really mad. Not upset, mad. She grounded me, and the boy came to visit me... "My friend, what is wrong with you lately?" he said looking at my eyes. I tought to myself "i tought he loved me... i really did" and i said "nothing. As i leaned to kiss him he got up and left me by myself. I just couldn't take that. I called him, but he just kept walking. He didn't cared... I think i died there and my heart just stopped. I got up and walked to nowhere, to... everywhere. I just walked by. I sat in the grass somewhere i can't remember, far away... it wasn't snowing anymore. The lady got the song i played that day and i cried. I went home, after two days, i got there. I went to my bathroom and filled my bathtub. I got the hairdrier i only used once, when i met him. I plugged him on. As i realised my life was coming to an end, i cried one last time to the mirror and sang. The song i heard him singing with his son. I didn't knew the lyrics but somehow they sliiped out of my mouth. I cried and laid on the bathtub and reached the hairdrier and i said his name one last time. And i took a last breath. And my dreams fell apart.
Hey! I am Jessica, im 13, i like a bunch of stuff... I am bissexual... most of the times XD Crazy girl confused... can't decide the right 'path' ^^ Eicca or Perttu? Who is my nº 1? Love rain, and snow, although i nover touched it.. My favorite thing to do is listen to music.. My new years resolution hasn't been done yet, (Get a boyfriend that i am actually into, not just a pity yes) erm and meeting apocalyptica in person. I like finnish music, and finnish men. I am not into brazilian men or portuguese men. i know both kind VERY well and i don't like it. Any other kind is acceptable if you are atractive... ^^ and yeah, i hate the following things: -Disney fans -People that actually effort to be funny -Cocky people -Judgemental people -Liars -Posers -Fakers Pretty much resumed all.
Music is my life... APOCALYPTICA! Trivium, Machine Head, Dragonforce, Slipknot, Metallica, Rammstein, RHCP, My chemical Romance, A7X, The Rasmus, HIM, Bullet FMV, evanescence, guns 'n' roses, aerosmith, bon jovi, Akira yamaoka, flyleaf, angra, nightwish, mastodon, massacration, van halen, soul asylum, sonata artica, korn, epica... (when i recall any others i'll add XD) And you?
What i like... movies- Ju-on, the grudge, the ring. Watched the 3 in a row, fucking psycho bitch. Nightmares for a year... tv shows- ren and stimpy